two more days
i will part with less
no hope
no desire
dreams bouncing against the walls of the emergency ward
the view from the hospital
is ugly
I am mute from scares
infamous
men still like me
for the shape of my thoughts
flattened stomach
I didn’t eat in two months
I am Kate Moss’s little sister
being driven around the city
in an ambulance
i can’t afford
I am mute from drugs
codeine to ease the pain
stuff
I can never remember the name of
to understand the cruelty
‘why’ echoes
like an old vinyl
he doesn’t want to sign divorce papers
he took it all, everything I created
but it’s not enough
for him
he writes
letters
saying
“i want to see you thrive”
I am on my way out
ptsd therapy
international human rights lawyer
on the plane to Europe
I am expecting withdrawal symptoms
six hours of insomniac trans
and landing
without regrets
free from you America
there will be
someone else’s arms
less alien more grounded
spirituality
without the mind fuck