the slow disappearance of our love
started when we met
I didn't have any other expectations
than to be yours
just for you
in the desert dust
cold uranian liquid
in chapter two
I rented a hotel room
across the fashion street
lit New York set
you took me over in through
together with
teenage wannabe actress ex
a rat
and a local gangster
I thought it was just a joke
temporary tedious
you wanted me to stay
you wanted us
more than me
locked
in expectations
in wanting
in dreams we dreamed separately
in each other
erased from
Chelsea hotel
Bowery
Lower East Side
the theatre billboard
announcing
the sadness
of me as a vagabond
clown socialite
trophy wife
eastern european
slut candy
suck on my shining
cat like shark jaws
your hate letters serve me well
I am the black queen
the femme fatale
of the Upper East Side
where I moved to wear expensive words
published by letterists international
one by one
A for B in self
B for C in others
C for D in mankind
D for everything else