THEN RESURRECTED *
“The Internet stands as the final perversion, inversion, of God, of the Sacred. It is now the invisible all pervading Presence (...). Heaven is Cyberspace, the Creator is the Scientist, the Altar is the Screen, the theology is computer technology, the monks are the nerds and hackers, Holy Writ is the Program, the Priests are the Consultants, Salvation is Being On-Line, and Paradise is the Information Age.”
Yuga An Anatomy of our fate, Marty Glass
I couldn't sleep and after reading about Burroughs’ influence over Terrence McKenna I started thinking of Stewart composing in my head my next facebook update that I would post on his page at noon Dominican time which would be 1pm New York time which would be 7pm his time in London which would be pretty likely for him to be sucked into his SEND CA$H series. I was high simply by reading how wickedly Burroughs hide the origins of inspiration behind the cut up technique from the rest of the literary world.
I was also getting hungry. I kind of new there was nothing left but still run a thorough inspection around the house. The only food I found were mushrooms, almond milk and chai powder, so I made myself mushrooms almond milk chai powder smoothie and opened the door to the balcony to check up on the palms and mango trees. The cups were crushing inside my mouth like kites inside the warm ocean before the hurricane season...I loved the taste and could chew on them endlessly watching trees turning into million of little dragons in their synchronised routine of raising upward and drifting inward while transmitting the message: "Why cannot you see us all the time, it's so hard to get your attention and we are here for your enlightenment." They seemed to be slightly grumpy and needy on occasions, but I didn't really mind, they were exquisitely beautiful, menacing and more trippy than any other trees around.
While conversing with the dragons I was sketching my update inside the waved up grey matter, it read along the lines "I wrote a sex story for you Stewart, my future husband of the future, would you like to read it? It's inside me under "Sex and psychedelics"...as real as the milky way of your come... Baby!" But then I started wondering why we would get married...I already had a green card and an EU passport so I didn't really need to get married unless he would like to move to the US and work in the solar business on the West Coast to pay off our mortgage on the house in Luisina that we could rb&b to the local crocks. Or perhaps he would want to marry for love? But love does not need marriage...Or perhaps he would want to marry for sex as sex before marriage would largely diminished his chances of immortality in the catholic heaven - I made a note that we never discussed religion, at least not directly, from all the indirect conversations I knew that he believed in our love and astral sex more than anything else. But why the marriage...the question popped out when the outer section of the mango tree dragons was spitting frilled lizards. Perhaps, perhaps he was after my money as much as I am after his, or maybe it's to make all the other women want him even more and all the other men admire his genius nursing skills. "Oh you turn me on my talented, only one future of the future of husbands!" I drew again between the waves - "So I wonder, but you must know that as well...All the times I didn't get married when in the final moment I was overwhelmed by the declaration of foreverness, but with you it's different...could you please add me to your wiki page? With you all the things I always wanted seem possible..oh don't stop! Stewart I truly hope you won't be offended by some of my writing...but then if you are you must forgive me for the sake of our love, expanding, regardless, all the imperfections, of our humanity, and the Atlantic between us whether it's your birthday, my most fertile days or St Valentine’s. Please forgive me for all the "but"s as if I learnt English but studying one of the Lichtenstein's paintings which I did. And I know you would not hold it against me but I also know you would want me to read more Shakespeare but you don't even think Shakespeare is that good, it's a bit dated but the drama is decent, but it's exaggerated but it's better than flat.
My Stewart “Sex and psychedelics” story was not going in the right direction, over-intellectualised, playing with conventions instead of genitals. I was capable of much better and he would agree even though he wouldn't mind it either way. I got naked in front of the mirror, covered myself in coconut oil and this time was trying to silence the references. I took the last sip of the mushroom almond milk chai smoothie and imagined it was his saliva dripping on me - but I couldn't...Again, I started thinking of Jean-Luc Godard, and the reasons why “Le mepris” is so relevant vis-a-vis the national tensions inside the European Union, and also whether people find it pretentious that I talked about films, books or even paintings using their original titles regardless of the language we spoke, and that the language was a virus that attacked Burroughs each time he would overdose on the moment when he shot Joan Vollmer, poor woman married to a wrong guy….I took a cold shower. Water but sperm, shower but cock, Dominican Republic but a giant vagina, sunrise but orgasm...I called it double disassociations technique which would usually help me to focus so it did, and another sexydelicious story juiced out from the vague memories of my life on pychodyliacs.
Burning my feet on the afternoon sand, head safely nested in the Che Guevara cap, skin shining from the coconut pulp, following my daily hypnosis practice I let myself into the trance juggling interchangeable notions of quantum theory, quantum vacuum, zero point field, cosmic plenum....Men of science made me laugh, each one would pursue ambitious project of introducing its own linguistic nomenclature for the same theory, like the kids in school screaming for attention, me, I, me the smartest of the smart ones. I was picturing Bohm and Einstein sitting in the first row by Planck, Born and Jordan, then Heisenberg, Casimir, Lamb and Retherford followed by Dirac, my favourite little French boy next to Pauli, Weisskopf, Yukawa, Wheeler and Heim, and at the back Yang, Mills, Higgs, Goldstone, Sinha, Sudarshan, and Vigier, all sitting in the same classroom as 7 year olds. I found them adorable but instantly realized it was an all boy school and I was a hard on feminist on the mission of revolutionizing the modern politics with the raise of my militant movement International Party for Proportional Representation where the gender and races would be equally represented throughout the inter-governmental organisations, boards of directors, national governments (while at the same time I was against national borders but that could wait another decade) and especially bastions of patriarchal knowledge breeding male geniuses through a wicked socialization that turned a half of the society into Barbied wasteland. What happened to all the girls? I simply decided to plunk them in since it was a day of the annual classroom photograph and I didn’t want to look like an old lady hanging out only with underaged boys, although in the Dominican Republic it was fully acceptable sexual predatory behaviour but I was not going to play by the rules. Once a rebel forever a rebel! First I added 9 year old Maria Sklodowska (before Curie, and slightly older than the boys so she could easily defend herself when it came to daily fights over the lab equipment), dressed in national folkloric Polish outfit with a scorpio in her pocket and a poisonous snake following her everywhere, then I multiplied her 10 times each time changing her folk costume to represent a different Polish region, and also altering the colour and the pattern of the snake. Boom! Explosion of the photographic flash nearly caused a fire but the moment became history with me standing in the middle of my smart ass class of future nobel prizes laureates with Maria getting hers multiple times as designed by the string theory and the nature of the multiverses. An annoying thought dragged through me that the contributions of my little boys to our lives would eventually lead to the collapse of the human civilisation led by the men who in their thirst for power subdued the women and the Earth fucking up all of us in the final orgy of methane balls flying from their throbbing cocks, in the last blast of the patriarchal suppremacy, but then I really tired not to focus on anything negative so I dismissed the impertinent vision of demise of our world and went to the local bar by the kite beach. Passing by the table of six fit guys in their late 30s, casually talking about the wind conditions in their exquisite French...I already anticipated our first conversation, but it was not meant to happen yet. I headed straight into the bathroom pulled out a vial of potion from a compartment of my bikini top where instead of push ups I kept a top quality LDS dissolved in the water so I could apply them straight to my eyes. I dropped a hit to the left iris but when I tried to do the same with the right one someone pushed the door trying to enter. Since I forgot to turn the lock the wooden frame hit the back of my head so instead of getting one hit of acid I lost control over the bottle and poured most of the content into my eyeball. Screaming like a wounded tigress in anticipation of my long long trip I rubbed the right eye. A tiny black local girl with a silver pendant around her neck saying “Maria” who didn’t seem strong enough to cause such torment apologetically looked back at me then run away. Most likely one of the many child prostitutes that filled the beaches and the local bars leading a low vibrational existence possessed by entities who in turn tried to possessed their customers (more about it in the next chapter). I was clearly in the wrong loo with a wrong 6 year old child whore. I had 30 minutes to organise an effective survival plan.
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When I woke up on the shore of the Caribbean paradise in a spotlight of the moon my body was still translucent slowly detaching itself from the crystalline form of the plenum. It was the full moon of 2nd of June with the Sun in Gemini and Moon in Aquarius. My masculinity announced itself with the Martian energies of twins taking forms of multiple male phantoms, the taste of Uranus was the closed to the liquid acid. My summer of love has just began but I was really hoping for a revolution and the ultimate victory of my International Party for Proportional Representation with its #SENDLOVE quantum agenda!
*Reference to the catholic prayer residing amongst my first memories of the first language, not heard in English therefore it must be studied so the rhythm could be sensed and the convention played / convention / I mean religion / I mean the language / I mean God / God is a Woman / I mean / the language of the God/ the Goddess/ who is myself / who does not need the language to call the divine into existence / the referentiality of divine throughout my existence / I mean.
** If you did not appreciate seeing your name in this story please get in touch with my council witoldgombrowicz@gmail.com, he will respond with quotations from “Pornography”.